


Kyōkigakure no sato

by Phi_ScarlaDraconian



Series: Relationship Status: Complicated [4]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crack Treated Seriously, OC heavy, Sakumo as Sensei, Tag As I Go, The Author never meta pun she didn't like, Warning - Language, Warning - Team 4, hard to tag
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-24
Updated: 2019-03-04
Packaged: 2019-06-16 04:07:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15428661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phi_ScarlaDraconian/pseuds/Phi_ScarlaDraconian
Summary: Hatake Sakumo wasn't sure what he was getting into when he was assigned a genin team shortly after his wife died giving birth to his son, but he certainly didn't expect three eight-year-old sarcastic shits masquerading as geniuses.





	1. Hatake Sakumo and the Genin of Doom

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Way of the Apartment Manager](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1120050) by [Elizabeth Culmer (edenfalling)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/edenfalling/pseuds/Elizabeth%20Culmer). 



> This will be non-chronologically updated, and I swear I have an ACTUAL plan for this.  
> I have a timeline and EVERYTHING.  
> Also, the timeline divergence is...well before this actually...  
> And...what's that you ask? Why the title...  
> Stay tuned and I may eventually get there

Konohagakure no Sato  
January 22, 40 AF (After Founding)

"Well Team 4, why don't we introduce ourselves?  My name is Hatake Sakumo, I have a lot of likes, like my hobbies and my dreams all involve my son growing up healthy and happy.  Now why don't you go next, Bao, wasn't it?"

The girl sitting on the far right perked up, her bright green eyes lighting up in a beaming smile.  Her black hair was pulled back in a large bun, held back with her hitai-ate being used as a hair band.  Her dark green t-shirt has a large brown circle with a square hole at the center and her brown pants are bloused over her waraji clad feet.  "Hi! I'm Sutego Bao and I really like anything that's not dislikable.  My hobby is obvious and I usually dream that I'm watching my life like it's a cartoon I got stuck in."

The boy sitting to her right stared at her bemusedly until Sakumo gestured for him to proceed.  His dark hair was cropped short and his bangs were held away from his eyes by his properly placed hitai-ate.  His dark and baggy wide collared shirt had a small uchiwa mon on the left sleeve and his black pants were bandaged over plain shinobi sandals.  "I'm Uchiha Ryūsuke, I like likable things, I haven't tried many hobbies and sometimes I dream about being killed on a faraway moon by a man with a false hand."

The boy sitting to his right just shook his head before introducing himself at Sakumo's nod.  His dark hair was pulled up in a high ponytail.  His hitai-ate was attached to the right sleeve of his short, tan jacket worn over a dark mesh shirt.  He was wearing dark three-quarters pants over standard shinobi sandals.  "I'm Nara Gobōsei.  It's too troublesome to list what I like and what my hobbies are, and the last dream I had, I was talking to a snake."

"The dreams were supposed to be about what you want to happen in the future," Sakumo said dejectedly to the three young shinobi staring innocently up at him.  He sighed heavily, "now, just because you've graduated the academy doesn't mean you're ninja yet," he told his students.  "We will meet here tomorrow at sunrise for a field test.  Make sure you are packed as though you are going on an overnight mission."

The youngest, Gobōsei, just gave a put-upon sigh after Sakumo vanished, making a show of laboriously standing.  "Oi, Sutego, why don't you get your gear and bring it over to my place?"

Turning back to her two teammates, Bao glanced between them before asking, "what about Ryūsuke-san?"

Rolling his eyes, Gobōsei was about to answer when Ryūsuke sighed and said: "of course I'll be there, we should all know what everyone is bringing."

"Alright," Bao replied, "so we'll be meeting you at the Nara compound, correct?"

"Yes," Gobōsei and Ryūsuke agreed simultaneously.

"Okay!" Bao cheered before dashing off.

* * *

 When Bao got to the Nara compound with all of her gear, she came face to face with a stereotypically bored Nara sitting at the compound entrance.

"You have to sign in if you're visiting someone," he told her, face set in the patented Nara the-world-is-too-much expression.

"That's okay, I'm here to see Gobōsei.  Do you mind if I use my own ink?  I'm practicing," she asked, pulling out a small metal container from her pocket.

"You're not turning the roster into an explosive tag, are you?" he asked, looking slightly more interested.

"No, I'm still practicing my handwriting," Bao assured him before putting her finger into the container to get a little ink and the tapping it onto the paper in the right place leaving only a slightly smudged "捨" after.  Cheered with her success, she finished tapping out "て子 ばお" to complete her name.  In the visiting column, she placed "ごぼうせい" to show that she was visiting Gobōsei.  This was when Ryūsuke walked up behind her.

"Is that your Kekkai Genkai?  Ink release?" he asked, looking over her shoulder.

"No, ink release would imply that I create it from combining other elements," Bao told him calmly.  "I'm just using doton to manipulate it."

"I see, said the blind man," Ryūsuke joked.  Bao scowled at him.

"It's closer to a doton senjutsu manipulation than an actual release," Bao told him.  "I focus and can make rock and stuff like that move," she said, demonstrating by pulling a stone up from the path they were standing on and having it float gently over her hand.

"And ink counts as rock or stone and stuff like that?" Ryūsuke clarified as he started signing in "うちは 竜助" into the visitor column.

"Yes, but I found out on accident," Bao explained after Daikei, the Nara guard, told them where to go.  "Nee-san had her sealing stuff out and she knocked down the ink pot, I went to catch it and it just sort of stopped and hovered there over my hands."

"Huh, that's pretty neat," Ryūsuke told her.  "So what all can you do with it so far?"

"So far I can write by getting a little ink on my finger and poking something, though I have to be really careful with more complicated kanji," Bao told him.  "And, if I do it right..." and then she flicked a glob of ink at Ryūsuke, hitting him square in the face.

Ryūsuke reeled back, spluttering before glaring spectacularly at Bao, who was snickering at his rather offended scowl.

"You better be able to clean this off!" he told her, gesturing at his face, which now looked like he had a monocle and goatee.  Bao nodded and with a sort of grabbing gesture pulled the ink right off Ryūsuke's face.  "That felt so weird," Ryūsuke said with a shudder.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to be sealing like that for a while," Bao told him.  "I've got to make sure that I'm capable of putting exactly what I want down or things will go boom even when I don't want them to."

Ryūsuke just looked at her in horrified fascination for a moment.  "Please don't ever use my face as practice for that ever again, I'm already going to have nightmares about my face exploding and at least when I'll set people on fire it won't be on _accident_."

"I'm not even practicing with sealing ink," Bao assured Ryūsuke, though he didn't look mollified at all.

"What are you two dallying for?" Gobōsei said, walking up to them.

"Telling Bao not to practice her sealing _on my face_ ," Ryūsuke told him, scowling impressively at Bao.

"I'm not practicing _sealing_ , I'm practicing my inking so when I do start practicing my sealing, I'm actually making the seal I want to," Bao explained.

"Yes, that's great, just don't do it _on my face_ ," Ryūsuke insisted.

"He has a point Bao," Gobōsei said, "especially since sealing mishaps almost always end in explosions."

"Oh fine," Bao groused.

"Good, glad we got that cleared up," both boys agreed at the same time.

"So which is your house?" Bao asked Gobōsei.

 "This one," Gobōsei said as he guided them towards one of the larger houses in the compound.  When they entered the house, three older boys were already sitting in the living room around a half completed shogi game.  "This is my brother, Shikaku, and his teammates, Inoichi and Chouza."

"Hi! I'm Bao, it's nice to meet you!" Bao said, bouncing over to the game.  "Is that shogi?  Who's winning?"

"Yes," Gobōsei said, "and Shikaku is winning, of course."

"Oh," Bao said as she put her backpack down.  "But don't you think it's kind of limited for strategy training?"

You could hear a pin fall in the silence following her statement before Shikaku turned to stare balefully at her.  "What..."

"Well," Bao started, "you know exactly what each piece can do, and each piece only does that, so you know exactly what your opponent is capable of or what they have the chance to do.  In real fights, a lot of different little things can come together to change how it will play out.  Shogi's good for overall army strategy, but...well, the squad that attacks aren't guaranteed to win, so..."

"You add rules to engender greater variables?" Shikaku asked, now looking slightly less offended.

"Well, I've been calling that _Kyōi_ , but I'm also working on a strategy role play where you set up a character and the Kage controls the enemies you face and all that," Bao told him.  "I've been calling that _Ninmu soshite Bijū_.  And I'm working on a card game that's kinda like that that I've been calling _Jutsu_ but I keep getting snagged up on the balance and mechanics of them."

"Do you have notes for this?" Shikaku asked her, looking intrigued.

"Ye~es...why?" Bao asked, squinting suspiciously at him.

"I want to look them over," Shikaku said, before gesturing imperiously, "now hand them here."

"Ok~ay," Bao said before pulling out a few moderately thick notebooks from her pack and handing them over to the older boy.

"Oh my god, you're going to nerd out for the whole night," Ryūsuke said, scowling.

"Ummm...no?" Bao said, hovering anxiously while Shikaku carefully paged through her notebooks.

"Nope, we're working on our packs now..." Ryūsuke said, dragging Bao away.

"Nooooo, wait, what if Shikaku has questions?" Bao whined.

"Then he'll ask, won't he?" Gobōsei said, unconcerned with Bao's whimpers about her poor notes.  "He's going to read them through at least once before he does, there's plenty of time to figure out our packs before that."

Bao sat down and pouted while Gobōsei and Ryūsuke dragged the packs over so they could organize their packs properly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ages:  
> Hatake Sakumo 29  
> Nara Daikei 15  
> Akimichi Chouza 12  
> Yamanaka Inoichi 12 (Almost 13)  
> Nara Shikaku 12  
> Uchiha Ryuusuke 8  
> Sutego Bao 7yrs 11mo  
> Nara Gobousei 7yrs 6mo
> 
> Kyōi = probably more Brouhaha than any of the other translations, considering I don't remember what I was thinking exactly when I picked the term.  
> Ninmu soshite Bijū = lit. Missions and Bijū which is just Dungeons and Dragons in Naruto-land  
> Jutsu = a rendition of Magic: the Gathering in Naruto-land, if you couldn't guess


	2. Bao and Freindship

"Bao!" [Yukiko](https://archiveofourown.org/series/67000) called, seeing her class friend at the greengrocer she was shopping at for her mother.  "I haven't seen you at class, where have you been?"

Her question was answered as Bao turned towards her, revealing the hitai-ate perched at the crown of her head, worn like a headband.  Yukiko had just enough time to swallow her disappointment before the other girl had bounced over to start cheerily chattering at her.  "You graduated."

Bao paused, carefully reaching up to touch the hitai-ate on her head before nodding.  "Yeah, Shinku didn't want me in his class anymore but he didn't have any way to fail me out so he pushed me into the room where they were doing the graduation test and told me that I was taking it," Bao explained.

"I guess you wouldn't want to play Ninja anymore," Yukiko said, already turning away.

"What are you talking about?" Bao asked, "of course I still want to play Ninja with you.  Just because I'm actually a ninja doesn't change the fact that we're still friends, right?"

"Because I'm just an Academy student?" Yukiko said.  "It's not very cool for you to hang out with a kid still going to the Academy."

"Why?" Bao asked her expression the very definition of guileless and innocently questioning.

"Because you're an adult and I'm still just a kid?" Yukiko said, trying to get her point across.

"And this means I care about how 'cool' or not this makes me look?" Bao said in answer, "because it really, really doesn't."

"Oh, well, there's still the fact that you might be doing some important Ninja mission," Yukiko said.

"This is true," Bao declared before scrunching up her face in deliberately exaggerated thought. "I know! You see my hitai-ate?  Well, if I'm wearing it like a headband, then I'm not doing anything really important and you can come by and ask me to play and I'll probably say yes, but if I'm wearing it on my forehead then I'm on a mission or am expected to be somewhere and I don't have the time to play.  Is that a deal?"

"Deal!" Yukiko agreed.

"So what are you doing here?" Bao asked, bouncing along beside Yukiko.

"Mom sent me to get some things for dinner," Yukiko told her, "Hey! Would you like to come over?"

"Sure!" Bao chirped, "let me help pay so I don't feel like an intruder. Y'know, since I'm a 'productive member of society' and all."

"Umm, alright," Yukiko agreed.

* * *

Ayakawa Yukina was in her office when Yukiko returned from the store with her friend Bao.  As usual, it was Tachiaoi who was in the kitchen getting everything ready for dinner.

"Hi, dad!" Yukiko called as she came into the kitchen.  "You remember Bao, right?"

Tachiaoi turned to look at his beaming daughter standing next to a dark haired little girl.  "Ah, yes, your friend from the academy.  Weren't you saying you hadn't seen her in class recently?"

"Oh," Yukiko said, "that's because she graduated.  Is it alright if she has dinner with us?"

Always very polite, Bao bowed deeply and said, "it is an honor to be invited into your home, Ayakawa-san."

Tachiaoi smiled indulgently, "I don't see why not."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm shamelessly (and with permission) using a character from another fanfic. Meet Ayakawa Yukiko from ['Way of the Apartment Manager'](https://archiveofourown.org/series/67000) (which can be found here on AO3 and on ff.net), who's of an appropriate age to be friends with Bao.  
> Head on over, the series is awesome and well written and is an adorable found family type story where Yukiko owns the apartment building that Naruto is first sent to and she becomes his awesome ninja nee-chan because Naruto is a lovable little snot of a kid who just wants some love, darnit.

**Author's Note:**

> 狂気隠れの里 Kyōkigakure no sato means...Madness Hiding Village...I think  
> That may make sense eventually.


End file.
